Unfortunately, The Jealous Sound lets all the air out of its tires before it tries to ride anywhere. I’m so sick of fey posturing in so-called “punk” music. Is it to get laid? Is it to get on MTV? What’s the fucking deal? This is abysmal dribble. The Jealous Sound litters its debut EP with that whispered vocal technique that ruined Jawbreaker’s awful, final album. Keyboards are thrown in because, hey, keyboards are hip these days. It doesn’t matter whether the songs need keyboards or not, apparently.

There’s neither tension nor humor in this music. I can’t find a single reason to keep listening. It’s certainly not energetic as each song trudges along at a mind-numbing, mid-tempo pace. “What’s Wrong Is Everywhere” tries to rock out, but ends up sounding like Space Hog with its multi-tracked vocals and tinker-toy guitar lines. One of these songs is bound to end up on a Dawson’s Creek episode. Blair Shehan (ex-Knapsack) en-unc-i-ates everything like he’s miming in a video or has something obtrusive in his rectum.

“Priceless” is the type of nonsense that gives emo its derisive connotations. Angst-ridden, cliched lyrics drag this mopey slop into the dregs of utter mediocrity. It’s offensive that this will be aligned with punk in any way. And it just keeps getting worse. “Bitter Strings” is almost as cloying as that Semisonic song that I cannot bear to quote for you. “Quiet Life” is now forcing me to throw this disc out of the window. Good God, I hope somebody beats the shit out of this Blair Shehan guy, if for no other reason than to give him something real to sing about.