While the following words should’ve been an intertitle in that Van Hagar video where Eddie shows us he can wank off just as hard on the ivories, unfortunately they’re not:

Riiight now, somewhere in the Stuyvesant Heights section of Brooklyn, a pandrogyne noise pioneer is cursing God and weeping uncontrollably – unsure if s/he can even go on nailing his own oddly erotic likeness to a crucifix and giving said image away as a bumper sticker when you buy his/her limited edition chapbook of transgendered poems pressed only in Nepal and rendered utterly incomprehensible à la Brion Gysin’s cut-up techniques. While I’ve always wanted to write a sentence like that, I knew in my heart I’d only have one opportunity to do so. And according to the eloquently espoused epistemology known as “thugonomics” by WWE superstar/former Division…wait for it…III All-American center John Cena, “the time is now.”

Psychic TV/PTV3’s Lady Jayne – Genesis Breyer P-Orridge’s self-described “other half” (she does wear the vagina pants in the family, I suppose) – died suddenly at her home on Tuesday, October 9th from a previously undiagnosed heart condition. The condition is thought to have been associated with her ongoing bout with stomach cancer. My lady was 38.

This latest incarnation of Psychic TV has had its fair share of troubles recently. Poor management forced the group to cancel a string of European dates a few weeks ago. And now this. Regardless, with contributions from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Nick Zinner and Butthole Surfer Gibson Jerome Haynes, PTV3’s first album in 12 years, Hell is Invisible…Heaven is Her/e, has already got a bigger digit spot on my year-end Top Ten list.