Jesus, take the wheel – personally – from The Hils

Posted December 18th, 2007 by logan

I freakin’ love Depeche Mode, but honestly, I never cared all that much for “Personal Jesus.” It’s flimsy little guitar riff (wait, someone in Depeche Mode owns a guitar?) is too cheap and choppy, and it’s trite, blues-like progression makes for one of the weaker cuts off Violator. And Mr. Gore, just how exactly does one “reach out and touch faith?” Okay, so maybe that back cover did kick as much ass as it showed, but I could go the rest of my twenties without ever hearing that song again – not by the Mode, not by J.R. Cash, not by Manson…and definitely not eviscerated and emasculated like this:

Now, as that bitch that broke Ray Davies heart once cooed “don’t get me wrong:” I loves me some Hilary Duff as much as the next precociously slutty pop tart fan, but Hils – sweetheart, honey, babe – WTF? Did that doucheschnozzle from Good Charlotte make you do this? It’s okay Lizzie; you can tell me. Blink three times if he’s holding you against your will and making you commit these atrocities. He can’t hurt you with his music anymore.

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3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 K // Dec 19, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    wow. That is a glorious and gorgeous train wreck. I can’t avert mine eyes.

  • 2 Tug // Dec 19, 2007 at 5:20 pm

    Did they change the lyrics around? I definitely never heard the words ‘personal’ or ‘Jesus’ in there. Maybe it’s just the bad sound. My mom always said that you shouldn’t take the ‘Christ’ out of Christmas, and I don’t think you should take the Jesus out of Depeche Mode.

  • 3 Logan Young // Dec 19, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    oh yeah, forgot to mention this was on her “Dignity” tour…for real. it doesn’t appear to be a wholesale remake of the DM tune – more like rihanna’s appropriation of soft cell’s “tainted love” for whatever new rubbish her handlers created for her recently.