The campaign to bribe Weezer into breaking up for $10 million is so funny because it’s probably how all 852,000 people who bought Pinkerton actually feel. Weezer has been a big bag of suck for the last 10 years. 10 years. That’s a long time to disappoint your fans, repeatedly. I tried to get on board with the so-called Green album back in 2000, but in hindsight it’s a complete mess. And everything since has just been beyond awful. Rivers Cuomo surely to God knows this. It’s amazing how important ex-bassist Matt Sharpe seems now in retrospect. Cuomo is a shameless opportunist, sacrificing the Weezer brand for catastrophic, toe-dipping forays into rap and cheese. For a guy who once hid from his famous rock star alter-ego because he got a few bad reviews, Cuomo sure has developed thick skin. The dork rock schtick lost its appeal so long ago that Weezer’s pandering to the outcast culture and teenage angst borders on just pure creepiness. You can just see the crazy behind Cuomo’s expressionless eyes. And the whole Hurley debacle just adds fuel to the fire. The band had to backpedal when guitarist Brian Bell admitted that the Hurley clothing line paid for the newest Weezer album called, um, Hurley. Weezer’s attempt to divert attention from its whoring relationship with surf clothes? Pretend that Hurley is all about the dude from Lost. Because nobody will see through that.